


Maybe Forgetting Ain’t so Bad

by theinsaneeraser



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Humor, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-04-15
Updated: 2012-05-26
Packaged: 2017-11-03 16:38:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/383609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theinsaneeraser/pseuds/theinsaneeraser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony wakes up with no memories, and with Fury trying to bring the Avenger's together, this may be a wrench in his plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Um, hai. *waves tentatively* This is my first Avenger's fic and um, yeah, probs been done a lot but yeah... heh... enjoy? *hides meekly*.
> 
> I don't know what other pairing's there will be, but I will update when I do, and I do expect there to be sex, so explicit stays.

Tony sat up with a start, sweat rolling down his back and chest, causing the soft fabric of the sheets - which he clung to so hard, he had pins-and-needles - to stick to his skin. He ran a hand through his hair, his mind fuzzy and unclear. He was unable to grasp thoughts he knew he should have. A hand dropped to his chest and he caressed the arc reactor there. He knew what it was, not that he knew how, but how it had gotten there? Those memories were gone. Many others had seemed to slip away like his consciousness in his dream.

Had it been a dream? He couldn’t remember, couldn’t pick out the details of the dream any more either.

He threw his legs over the side of the bed and looked around his room. There were mechanical parts all around him from various things he couldn't remember. He knew he had been working with them; his fingers itched when he saw them, as if they alone remembered what to do.

Instead of inspecting the room any further, as it didn't seem to trigger any flash-backs, he instead made his way to the private bedroom, his feet moving even as the fog in his mind thickened. He'd hoped looking in the mirror - he had huge dark circles under his brown eyes, and he looked like he hadn't shaved in a while either - would pry loose any recollection, but like the room, it only seemed to make it worse and give him a headache. He sighed and splashed water on his face, rubbing at the skin before grabbing the razor.

"Tony!" Came an angry, feminine voice from somewhere in his room. Was that his name? Tony? He closed his eyes and tried to put meaning to the word, but nothing clicked. Still, if the girl was in his room calling Tony's name, then maybe it was his name. "Tony Stark!"

He finished shaving and towelled himself off, preparing to step out into the room. The woman sounded very angry and for some reason, he knew that that was a bad thing. He was startled when he was face-to-face with a very beautiful red-head. She was holding a clipboard and yes, she was very angry.

"Who are you?" He asked and she snorted, shaking her head. He'd been serous though since he had no idea who the woman in front of him was.

"Very funny Stark, now look y-"

"I really don't know who you are." Tony looked at her, trying to convey as much honesty as he could. "I really, really don't. Though I feel like I should, you are very beautiful."

"JARVIS, would you mind reminding Tony that he has an appointment with S.H.I.E.L.D today?" The woman called out and Tony jumped as a voice came out of no where. "Of course, Miss Potts."

"Is there someone else in the room?" Tony scanned the area, trying to pin-point where the voice was coming from, but the blinds had been opened, and light poured in through the huge window, and the only two people in the room were him and – Miss Potts?

The woman named Miss Potts, yes he was sure that was her name, was staring at him strangely; as if she were trying to figure out if this was a ploy, but well, it wasn't. "Tony, this isn’t funny."

"I’m not trying to be." He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “I don’t remember anything, Not who I am but I guess I must be this Tony Stark, since you keep calling me him but I don’t know you!”

"JARVIS, please call Rhodey," Miss Potts said as she looked over Tony and all he could do was manage a sheepish look.

"He is already on his way."

 

Tony had enjoyed the ride to S.H.E.I.L.D Headquarters - he'd been told a little bit about it - though he was still wrapping his mind over Happy. That was the name of their driver; whoever named their kid _Happy_ was just cruel. Still, he'd seemed nice, and he drove well enough, and they'd gotten there in plenty of time.

S.H.E.I.L.D HQ was, well, massive. There were people running and talking and working, and he was sure there was more of the place underground - that seemed like a normal thing for an HQ. They'd told him he'd been here before, and Miss Potts - Pepper - had been watching him the whole time, but nothing seemed to be jarring his memory. So, when they stepped into a meeting room to call on Fury - the head honcho - he couldn’t help but take a peek.

Four men and a woman all sat and stood in various places around the room. One of the men had light-brown hair and blue eyes, and well, he looked like a body-builder on steroids, and maybe he was. There was a blonde man – his hair reached his shoulders – and blue his, he also looked like he’d just come back from a renaissance fair. The third man had curly brown hair and brown eyes, and looked pretty normal. The fourth man had short brown hair and blue eyes, and he looked normal as well, though he was wearing clothing that made him look a little intimidating. The woman had curly red hair and green eyes and was wearing leather… very low-cut leather.

“Fury, can I have a moment?” Pepper spoke professionally and Tony watched everyone turn their eyes on him. He flashed them a smile, and almost everyone in the room raised their eyes. “In private?”

“What has he done now?” The man – Fury – muttered as he walked over. He was black, wore an eye patch and had no hair. His eyes were also brown. He was intimidating as hell, and Tony didn’t think he’d liked this man.

“I don’t know.” Tony spoke before he could stop himself – did he have the problem before? It seemed to come so naturally, so that was probably a yes.

Rhodey dragged him back and gave him a stern look; he was a black man as well, with really short black hair and brown eyes. He didn’t resist, he had the feeling people here didn’t like him very much seeing as they all wore various looks of amusement and frustration. 

Fury eyed him with one eye – still very intimidating – and lead them down the hall, up an elevator, and into a cosy little room.

“So, what is it this time?”

“I have no memories,” Tony complied, sitting down on one of the chairs. Okay, maybe he’d flopped down on them, and thrown his legs over the arm rest, but it was much more comfortable this way, and his body seemed to be working on auto-pilot. “None at all. If Pepper hadn’t come in, I wouldn’t even know my name.”

“Is this some kind of joke?” Fury slammed his hand down on the table and okay, yeah, he definitely must not have liked this guy, because now he was rolling his eyes – he wondered how much trouble he got into on a regular basis – and put his face in his hands.

“Why does everyone keep saying that,” He muttered, rubbing his face before getting up to pace. “I woke up this morning, with no recollection of where I was, who Pepper was, until Rhodey told me, or even who _I_ was!” He stopped in his pacing, rubbed his forehead – he was getting a headache again – and then continued pacing. “So would you all stop accusing me of joking and, oh I don’t know, fix this?”

Whoa, where had _that_ come from?

The room was quiet, and Tony was positive that he must get into trouble a lot, if how he’d just talked said anything. He didn’t really care right now – he wondered if he really cared about much – he was frustrated, and knew he should be remembering something _important_. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t remember a damn _thing_ and he was pretty sure if he kept _trying_ his head was going to explode.

Tony stopped pacing and watched as the three of them started in on a conversation, talking about things he didn't understand - the impact of no Iron Man - and some things he sort of did - Stark Industries - and how they were going to fix it. He was getting bored though, and he wasn't included in the conversation, which was rude since it _was_ about him. So he slipped out of the room quietly and took a walk down the halls. He skipped the meeting room - there was probably more confusion and headaches there than he wanted or needed - and instead made his way to a room with lots of TV's and semi-comfortable chairs.

He flicked on one of the TV’s and channel surfed, not really paying attention, until he saw himself. He stopped on that channel and watched some recaps of his previous fights.... He was Iron Man, which explained why they were worried about him being a no-show. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his temples. How could he have forgotten everything? How could he have forgotten this? He was a super hero for crying out loud! Still, the further he dug for the missing memories, the more his head ached. Something must have happened, something bad, because something - or his mind - really didn't want him to remember.

"So, what did you do this time, Stark?" a voice called from behind him - if someone asked that one more time, he was going to punch said someone - and Tony turned to look at him. It was the blonde guy who looked he was on steroids, leaning against the wall.

"We aren't friends, are we?" Tony asked and the blonde raised an eyebrow. "Right." He jotted that down in his mental notebook. He was apparently a genius, and yet all the files in his mind were blank, wiped clean. "I haven’t done anything, at least, not on purpose. Or maybe I did. Did I seem like the type of person who would wipe their memory?" He was actually curious, though some instinct told him the answer was no.

"What are you talking about?" The blonde - he was really going to have to ask for a name, and maybe a number - straightened.

"Are we ex's? Because you don’t seem to like me, and yet for some strange reason I want to kiss you. Was it a bad break up?"

The blonde spluttered, cheek's flaring red, and to be honest, it was cute. Tony tilted his head, waiting for an answer, instead the blonde man stormed out of the room, muttering angrily to himself. Or maybe he had been embarrassed, maybe they hadn’t been dating, maybe he'd been a weird stalker. He didn't _feel_ like a weird stalker though.

Tony sighed and turned off the TV. He got to his feet and started to pace again. He was antsy, and his fingers kept making that tingly feeling, like they weren’t used to being so inactive. So he flexed them, hoping that would help, but it was something else. He should be working on something, but what he should be working on? Hell if he knew but he knew he wanted to. He wanted to make something, something new, something exciting. He continued to pace until Pepper, Fury and Rhodey showed back up - they had been looking for him - and Pepper took him home.

From what Pepper had said, they had no idea why he had lost his memory, or how, but that they'd find a way to fix it. Until then, he'd be going for some brain tests, some body scans, blood tests, and a whole bunch of other tests, while they also tried to jog his memory. It sounded like a lot of work, a lot of hassle, and he wasn’t even sure he _wanted_ to remember. Which was stupid, of course he wanted to remember, he'd been something, great. The man on the TV had said so.

He was also banned from his workshop but that was where he _wanted_ to be. He liked being around the machines and parts, but Pepper was scared that he was going to blow something, or himself, up.

“Uh, JARVIS?” he called out into the emptiness of his bedroom, where he’d been hiding out.

“Yes, sir?”

It was still unsettling that there was an invisible AI that he could talk to, but he did help him out with remembering passwords and things, which was why he was talking to him now. He was too anxious to be sitting here in his bedroom, looking over photos that Pepper had brought him. He was on complete lockdown, unable to leave his penthouse. He knew she was just worried, she had said so and she definitely sounded sincere, but he wanted to at least be free to roam in his home! How was he supposed to remember, if she'd shut him off from, apparently, his favourite place to be?

"You're my AI right? You work for me?"

"You are my maker, sir" Came the reply, but it was a little hesitant, and he wondered if AIs had emotions, because JARVIS seemed very good at showing them. Mostly sarcasm and contempt. (not sure if right word) "What is it you need?"

"I know Pepper is scared I'm going to blow myself up, but, I was good with electronics and mechanics, right?"

"One of the best, sir."

"Do you think I'd blow myself up?"

"On purpose or accidental, sir?" See, sarcasm.

Tony sighed and rubbed his face. "Open the workshop for me." He tried the direct approach reasoning that if he'd made the AI then he should override anything Pepper said...right?

"I'm not sure that is such a good idea, sir."

"Please open the workshop for me?" He tried again and looked in the direction he was told JARVIS' camera was, trying to look as pleading as he could. "I'm going insane; I need to do something with my hands. It should be like riding a bike, just have to let them get to work and everything will be just fine."

Silence.

"Besides, you're there to watch over me and can call Pepper if I do mange to blow myself up."

"Of course, sir." Did the AI just sigh? Could AI's sigh? Huh... 

Anyways, that wasn't important. What was important was that his workshop was open - JARVIS had showed him where it was, and once again explained that it wasn't a good idea, but Tony didn't care. He closed his eyes and took in the familiar-and-yet-not smell of oil, surface cleaner, the sound of mechanical buzzing and humming. He ran his fingers over the keyboard to his computer - it looked more like a motherboard to some space ship - and sat down in the chair. He reclined and tilted his head back to stare into the florescent lights and smiled. Yes, this was right, this was better.

Something scratched against the inside of his skull, like a memory, a glimpse of red and gold, but it hurt to much to keep thinking about it. He rubbed his forehead and tried to usher the thought away, he'd try again later.

"Are you alright, sir?"

"Yes, much better." He grinned and rubbed his hands together.

Where to start.

He'd only set _one_ thing on fire, and that was before Pepper had startled him while he was holding the blowtorch and he'd stuck it towards a pile of papers. Okay, and there was that _one_ accidentally electrocuted himself, but how was he supposed to know they were live! He didn’t even remember what he'd be doing before this. Then there was cutting himself on some sharp metal, but other then that he was fine! That didn’t seem to ease Pepper any as she scolded him, but he couldn’t take that seriously, because well, she was very cute when she was angry.

"Tony! Are you listening to me?"

"Your face does this cute thing when you're angry, and your cheeks flush," Tony explained as he was putting out the small fire. 

"Tony..."

"I feel better in here; I was going insane just wandering around the house. I feel alive in here, like this is where I was meant to be. It's also prickling some memories, though it hurts when ever it does. Is that normal?"

"No, it is not normal!"

Tony gave her a sheepish smile and she sighed, rubbing her own forehead. He looked back at his, well, he had no idea what it was really. He was letting his hands do what they were good at, put them on auto pilot. Maybe that was a bad idea, but he'd felt better since coming down here; he was telling the truth about that. He felt at ease, like everything down here made sense, even if he didn't really understand half of it. It was there, in his head somewhere, and he knew he could work through them here, no where else but here. He could make something to fix himself; he seemed like the type of person who could do that.

"If I may, Master Stark has been working well. Yes, he has hurt himself a few times, but you should watch him work. He looks much more like his old self." JARVIS interjected and Tony looked up.

"Thank you, JARVIS."

"You're welcome, sir."

"Fine." Pepper sighed and grabbed a seat. "But one more fire and you are out, understand?"

Tony said nothing, just got back to work on his... what ever it is.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve pays Tony a visit, and Clint forgets to tell Thor about not using metal in the microwave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, so sorry about how long this took to update. My beta, who I thought went AWOL, actually it was just her loosing her internet till Wensday, but I do have a back up beta now, in case something like this happens so I'm not scrambling to figure out how the hell I'm going to post the next chapters. Chapter three is already posted so it shouldn't take as long.

It had been a few days, and Tony's accidents in the workshop had toned down to small cuts on his fingers, and little zaps. He hadn't broken anything, set anything on fire, electrocuted or blown anything up, and he was completely smug about it. Pepper had stopped coming by, as she now had to run the company - until Tony remembered, of course - and he was thankful for the time alone. Don't get him wrong, he liked Pepper. She was nice, smart, and pretty, but she was worried. It was flattering, but it also meant that while she was in the workshop, Tony couldn’t shake off the feeling of her eyes boring into the back of his head as she waited for him to mess up. It was hard to concentrate like that but he would send her some flowers and a thank-you card for her consideration.

He'd forgotten all about that within the first twenty-four hours as he continued to work on his, well, it looked like a boot. What type of boot it was, well, he didn’t know, only that it was giving him a hard time. It turned out it wasn't just like riding a bicycle, and most of the time he was asking Jarvis questions or getting quizzed on things he should already know. It was frustrating, and meant this was taking forever - he hadn't slept in two days, but it seemed his body was used to it, and JARVIS made sure he at least had coffee - but it wasn't like he didn’t have the time.

He rubbed a hand over his face and chuckled. He rubbed his grease-spotted hands on his jeans and pulled out a rag to wipe his face. He was pretty sure he was only accomplishing to spread it around, but he wanted to get in a few more things before JARVIS or Pepper nagged him about food.

He was in the middle of adding some side paneling for the finishing touch when JARVIS spoke up. "Someone is here to see you, sir."

Tony looked up towards his computers. "Is it Pepper?"

"No sir, he says his name is Steve Rogers."

"Oh, um, can you bring up a uh..." He trailed off, swinging his arms around - he'd put down the blow torch this time _and_ shut it off. JARVIS seemed to know what he was talking about though, because on the biggest of the computer screens, feed came up showing a very built blond with gorgeous blue eyes. "Thank you." He smiled. It was him, the guy he'd met at S.H.E.I.L.D. He was wearing a pair of what could have been - nope it most defiantly was – honest-to-God army pants, the real type too, and a white t-shirt. "Okay, let him in and show him the way here."

He heard the click of the front door opening through the feed and bit his lip, considered it, shook his head and then though 'what the hell'. "Uh, JARVIS could you, uh, get a view of his backside?" he looked hopeful.

"Yes, sir." JARVIS responded in a dry tone, and as he did, the feed changed to show the back of Steve, and yes, those pants _did_ show off his ass well, not as well as a good pair of jeans would, but Tony liked it. He opened his mouth to ask if JARVIS could follow him through the house, but the camera was already doing so. He wondered how often he'd used this to peek at people's backsides, or front-sides for that matter. He did consider asking if he'd zoom in, but he had a feeling he was already pushing it.

He relaxed back into his work, every once in a while glancing back up at the screen with a small smirk. He was so engrossed in both tasks that he hadn’t noticed that Steve was here till, well, he was.

"Stark, you mi-" he called out, a little angrily and then cut of with an intake of breath that was bordering a squeak.

"JARVIS cut the feed!" Tony called out and spun around, almost setting his goatee on fire in the process.

Tony looked at the blonde man in the doorway, who had gone a beautiful shade of red, and his lips were parted. He turned back towards the screen, which was blissfully blank - not that it mattered, the damage was already done - and he had a feeling that JARVIS knew Steve was there, in the doorway, where he could get a good view of Tony watching his ass, and he hadn’t turned it off. _Traitor._

"Uh, hi." Tony smiled sheepishly and quickly turned off the blowtorch so he could set it down. "You were saying?" He really hoped Steve didn’t storm off like before; he had a bad feeling he made the man do just that quite often. Which again made him think maybe they'd been dating, and it was a bad break-up.

Steve opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, flushed harder and turned away from Tony. "You missed your meeting at S.H.E.I.L.D."

Meeting at S.H.E.I.L.D.? He blinked and oh, _that_ meeting. The one where he was going to get poked and prodded with needles and metal objects so they could find out the reason behind his amnesia. He still suspected everyone though he was pulling their legs, but he only wished he was.

"Look, we got off on the wrong foot, don’t go." Tony took a step towards Steve, who finally turned around to look at him. His cheeks were still pink - cute - but his eyes were set, and there was anger there and yeah, definitely the wrong foot. "Look it wasn't-" Steve raised an eyebrow and Tony sighed. "Ok, it was what it looked like. But really, it was for science!" Steve's other eyebrow raised and Tony continued on. "I was kind of hoping it would bring back some memories, some really, really good ones." And the flush was back again. Foot. Mouth. "I didn’t mean to say that, okay yes I did but I shouldn't have, I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm... sorry?" Tony said again and Steve looked at him. "Oh, look what I've been working on, I have no idea what it is, I think it's a boot, but it's a _cool_ boot." He was babbling, why was he babbling, he didn't seem like the kind of guy who babbled; if what he saw of himself on TV proved anything.

He slid over towards his mechanical boot and held it up, grinning. "What do you think?"

Steve sighed and turned to leave again and Tony took a few strides towards him. "Wait, I uh, have to get changed first, and then I'll go. I honestly forgot about it." Tony was being sincere, but he didn’t think Steve believed him. "How'd you get here anyways?"

"I walked."

"You walked?"

"I walked."

"I..." Tony closed his mouth because holy fucking _crap_. That was... far. He eyed Steve who just shrugged his shoulders. "Right, so we're taking Happy." Tony nodded and then stopped. "I meant Happy will take us, Happy is my driver, not the name of my car, at least I don’t think it is. I don’t think I'd name a car Happy, let alone my kid." He was babbling again. "Okay, right, change of clothes, maybe a short shower, JARVIS can show you were the kitchen and living room are, make yourself at home." He hadn’t noticed it at first, but... yes, Steve was laughing. He smiled, because that was better, no eyebrows raised, no blush - not that he didn't mind the blush, but that usually lead to anger - and no anger!

He decided he really liked Steve's laugh.

 

After his shower he found Steve walking around his living room, examining things, and JARVIS happily explaining anything that he didn't understand. He stood in the doorway and leaned against it, watching as Steve explored around. He didn't seem to understand much about technology, but if what Pepper told him was true - he didn't believe it at first, but he was starting to now - Steve was from the 1940's and had been on ice for the last seventy years.

"Ready to go?" He finally asked and Steve straightened up with a sheepish look on his face.

"Sorry," Steve murmured and Tony just shrugged. "Me casa su casa, or something like that." He waved a hand and made his way towards the front door. "Lock everything up for me, JARVIS?"

"Of course, sir."

"Thank you, JARVIS." He smiled and lead out of the house. He'd asked JARVIS to call Happy once he'd left the shower, and there he was, waiting for them by the car, a smile on his face. Tony would bet his entire house that Happy had come out of the womb smiling and laughing, instead of crying like most babies. That was the only explanation for why someone would name their kid Happy. "S.H.E.I.L.D. H.Q.."

"Of course Mr. Stark, Mr..."

"Rogers, Steve Rogers, you can just call me Steve."

"Steve." He nodded his head and opened the door for them.

The drive there was silent, and Tony found he didn’t mind it. He did catch himself constantly sneaking quick glances at Steve, almost like he was worried he'd hulk out and throw him out of the car, or worse, give him one of those disapproving stares. He also wasn’t looking forward to these tests, but if he would help him remember - and get rid of those god awful headaches - then he was willing to do just about anything. Still, for now he was getting a good very of a _very_ handsome man and he planned on making the most of it. Little bumps here blamed on dips in the road, little brushes of arms and legs as he reached for things that he never intended to use.

He wondered if he'd been this infatuated with the man before he lost his memories, and more importantly he wondered what he did to make Steve hate him so much. Because he did seem to hate him, or at least _really_ not like him. They hadn't been ex's - he'd kind of been hoping they were, and yet he was relived they weren't; it meant he still had a chance. 

"What are you thinking about?" Tony jumped when Steve spoke, dragging him out of his thoughts. He quickly clamped down on his jaw to stop himself from speaking the first words that came out of his mouth - he was learning! - and thought carefully. "You don't have to tell me." Steve spoke again and looked out the window.

Steve confused him.

Tony looked back out the window, fidgeted with his cell phone before blurting out, "I was thinking about you," and then proceeded to hit his hand on the window.

He wasn't learning as well as he thought he was.

"What?" Steve looked at him, sounding surprised, and Tony mentally berated himself.

"Nothing, I was, uh, talking to myself." he mumbled and then jumped up as Happy pulled in. "Oh look, we're here." He quickly removed himself from the car. "I enjoyed the ride, thanks for reminding me, have a great day," and with that he jogged into S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ before Steve could say anything else.

It only took Tony five minutes to realize he was lost and that he had no idea where he was going.

It took ten minutes for him to finally ask someone which way to go, and another twenty to actually get to where he was supposed to be.

It only took two seconds for Fury to yell at him, and a minute later Fury finally handed him over to the medical staff to be poked, prodded, tested and studied. The whole process had taken several hours, and those were several hours he would never get back. Worst of all he had to come back and do the whole thing tomorrow. Even worse was that there would be no Steve to make the long drive comfortable, or maybe that was a good thing, considering the direction his thoughts had been running in.

All in all, by the time he got back home he was exhausted and ready to take a nap.

So when he walked into his living room and saw a bunch of people standing and sitting in it, he wasn't surprised. The way his day had been going so far, there was no way he'd catch a break now.

"You're our meal ticket, according to Fury," was the only explanation he got, from the light-brown haired man who was holding a bow and arrow at his side with dark expression like he was ready to spring up and kill someone.

Tony took one look at them, the only one looking less-than-annoyed and more concerned was the long blond-haired man who looked like he was on steroids and then there was Steve. He was frowning, but for once Tony doesn't think it was because of him. That didn’t stop his hasty retreat to his bedroom where he made sure JARVIS engaged every deadbolt and password protection there was.

His day couldn’t get any worse.

 

He was wrong.

Tony was enjoying a nice dream, a dream that involved blond hair and blue eyes and a nice ass. It was just getting to a good part, a part that involved kissing when he was ripped into consciousness by an explosion. He let out a cry as he struggled to get out from between the blankets, which only ended him on the floor, tangled in the sheets.

"JARVIS! What's happening, what's going on, are we under attack?"

"It seems Thor has just caused the microwave to explode, sir."

Very, very wrong.

Tony made his way to the kitchen - after finally freeing himself from the sheets - and stopped in his living room. The sprinklers were going off, soaking everything and he was pretty sure there was nothing left of his kitchen. The buff blond man - Thor he guessed - was standing off to the side looking sheepish, and the red-haired female was scolding bowman. Steve was standing in the entranceway to the kitchen with a stern look, as if he was willing the kitchen to fix itself. He couldn't help but smile at that, before he remembered that his kitchen was ruined and it was because of the people who'd invaded his house because of some orders from Fury.

"What the hell happened?" He asked, crossing his arms. Thor looked up and tried a weak smile before looking down with a serious look on his face.

"Clint told me the wonders of food-in-a-can, and I wished to try it for myself. I did not know that I was not supposed to put the can in the microwave. I am sorry." He scuffed his foot a little, and Tony was kind of reminded of a child, a large, over-grown child, who'd been caught with his fingers in the cookie jar and sighed. He ran a hand through his hair before throwing his hands up.

"Well, I'm rich, right? Won't take long for me to replace everything. And then I'm going to personally show you how to use everything." He wasn't going to chance Thor electrocuting himself with a fork in the toaster or something.

Steve gave him an approving smile, while the red-haired girl and bow-man just looked at him. He shrugged it off and led Thor - Steve at their heels - into the kitchen to start clean up.

It took a lot of his self-control, and a lot of mechanical tinkering to keep his mind off the almost-sex dream he'd had of Steve, and after a few hours of calling Clint Bow man and Natasha red-head, he's finally found out their names. He'd also found out that the quiet brunette was named Bruce. It didn’t take very long for them to sort things into hopeless, recoverable and still intact. He made a mental note of what he'd have to buy - he'd talk to Pepper about it - and made a second mental note to have someone come clean his living room.

Tony fell onto his bed, tired and ready for some real sleep.

"Tony?" A voice called from his door way and he groaned, forcing himself into a sitting position. "Sorry to disturb you."

It was Steve, leaning against his doorframe with a look that was mix of calm-relaxation and serious. How he managed these looks was beyond even Tony's brain function.

"No, it's fine." He stretched some and rubbed his face. "What's wrong, did Thor put the whites in with the colors?" He grinned and Steve just tilted his head. “Never mind.”

"Alright." He stood a little straighter. "The others all choose rooms, but I wanted to make sure that there wasn’t anywhere specific you wanted us." He had that serious look on his face again, and Tony wanted to wipe it off, get him to relax a little.

"Not really, choose a room, make yourself at home. Just don't expect breakfast in bed." He smiled and Steve nodded, relaxing finally.

“Have a good night, Tony." Steve said before he turned to leave.

"You too, Steve."

Steve nodded and left, leaving Tony alone in the room. He stared at the ceiling for a while, before turning onto his side and closing his eyes. "Good night, JARVIS." He mumbled and got comfortable.

"Good night, sir."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So um, I'm still really scared that I'm screwing up all the characters, but I hope you liked the humor? Because things are about to get angsty >>


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony tries out flying, and get's a memory as payment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New beta, so I hope my work gets better, she's been so great. :D Helping so much.

" _What?_ " and okay, maybe that was the wrong thing to say, maybe he should have phrased that better, because the tone Pepper was using right now was not the playful, light-hearted laughter he was expecting. 

"That's it Tony, you are cut off from your workshop! I knew this was going-"

"Pepper." 

"-happen! I'm going to order JARVIS not to let you in again, you could have harmed yourself! You're also get-"

"Pepper..." 

"-babysitter! I can't sit around and watch you all day, as I'm running your company and _really_ Tony! I knew I should have liste-"

" _Pepper_!" 

"WHAT!" ?

"Thor put a can in the microwave! I didn't do it!" He ran a hand over his face. "They are staying here, Fury's orders or what not, but really. I didn't do it."

"Oh..." 

"I uh... need... to know what kind of things I'd buy... and um, who would I call for cleaning? My living room got wrecked because of the sprinklers." 

And maybe it was just starting to fully sink in, or maybe he hadn’t got as much sleep as he thought he did because he was tired. He just wanted to lie in bed and sleep until this was all over.

"I can call Rhodey if you're busy."

"No, no Tony, I'm free. I'll be over there in a few." 

"Okay." he murmured and he could tell Pepper wanted to say something. She'd inhaled, but whatever she was about to say, she didn’t voice it. She just hung up.

In the end he knew he made the wrong choice. He should have listened to Pepper, but the point had been that _he'd_ made the choice, not her. It wasn't that he didn't like anything she pointed out, it was that he _did_. He'd spent most of the time looking at the _wrong_ things, worrying about what his old self would have picked, trying to force his memories back. His head hurt and he'd been frustrated. Pepper knew more about him then he did, in fact, she knew everything he didn't and it was really starting to grate on him. So, in a moment of childishness, he'd picked the exact opposite of what she'd been pointing out, and although she'd protested, he'd won out. It was his money and his house.

He really hated it.

"What the hell happened to your kitchen, Stark?" Clint called from the doorway, whistling. Everything was installed now, and he was able to see the utter mess it was. "It looked better after the explosion. Who the hell picked this out?"

"I did." he gritted out, and glared at the appliances mocking him. Clint was laughing now, and that wasn’t helping any. 

"Oh shut up," he grumbled, and left, fleeing to his workshop. He'd exchange it later, when he'd had time to calm down. 

 

He found them while he'd been tearing up his workshop looking for something. He didn't know what he had been looking for, but he knew he'd know when he'd found them. That was when they'd fallen to the ground, catching his eye. "JARVIS, what are these?" he ran his fingers over them and shuddered, a flash of memory, something, the feeling of pain and pride, of fear and excitement.

"Those are gauntlets, sir, be careful not to fire the repulsor beams." JARVIS replied.

"Repulsor bea-" 

Tony yelped, as he slid his fingers unconsciously over them... and a beam of light flew out of one end - thankfully not facing him - and... Pepper was going to kill him.

"Those Repulsor beams, sir."

"Thanks..."

So he spent an hour reading his work on the repulsor gauntlets, and how they worked. He'd watched his videos on how he fired the repulsor beams, and how they worked to stabilize flight. He'd skipped most of the videos on the flight part itself, because if his hands could get back to work without his brain, surely he could do this too.

At ten percent he'd flown back into a wall and decided to watch the flight videos.

Tony flexed his fingers and put his hands at his side, like he'd done in the video. He'd also made sure the clear the area of cars and other things he could accidentally set on fire or melt. He could do this, he had done it before and he would do it again. It would be like riding a bike, he'd get the hang of it and at one percent he wouldn’t smash into a wall and break his spine.

"JARVIS, one percent thrust capacity," Tony called out, and braced himself by ,,bending his knees and holding his arms out - mimicking his pose in the recordings. "In three, two, one."

He sucked in a breath as he lifted off the ground, slower this time, gently, unlike before when he'd just been flung back like a rag doll and okay, this was good. His arms were a little shaky, but he was hovering in place, and he was flying. Maybe not too far off the ground but still. He grinned and called out, "Cut power," and winced a little as he landed - unlike before, he wasn't taking a break, so his neck still hurt a little - but he was okay, he'd landed fine, if a little hard. 

"Okay, that's good, really good. Let's try this again. Dummy, stand down." He looked at his mechanical arm, which made some whirring sounds, and lowered the fire extinguisher.

He steadied himself before getting back into position. 

"Alright, two point five percent this time." 

He'd seemed to do okay last time at this, and wasn't in a rush to kill himself so, baby steps. 

"In three, two, one," and up he went again. He flailed a little, trying to find his balancing point again, but as soon as he did he was steady. 

"Good, good, right, let's try moving." He lifted his arms up to try and go sideways.

It was then that Steve came into the room and called out.

Tony turned his head and raised his arms, which was a wrong move. He raised his arms too quickly, causing him to fly backwards. He tried to turn and stabilize himself again, but he ended up crashing into the wall sideways and accidentally cutting the power, which landed him a heap on the floor and _Ow!_. Steve !called out again and Tony could hear the footsteps running towards him, but he was seeing something else.

Pain, lots of pain. 

Water, hard to breathe, fear. 

More pain, sadness, regret.

Then there was the water again and he couldn’t breathe. Someone was holding his head underwater and when it was finally lifted he was only gifted with a few gulps of air, he was shoved back in. He was choking, there was water in his lungs and it stung, hurt. Then he was on a table and his chest, his whole body was on fire and someone was cutting into him, but that wasn’t right. You were out for that sort of thing, they had pain killers, but he wasn’t on any until a cloth came over his mouth and blackness took over him.

He sat up fast and fought at the arms that were holding him, the words he couldn’t understand, a language rambling in his ears, taunting him, and then it got clear again, changed. 

The voice changed. 

"JARVIS, get Pepper here now!"

Tony tried to sit up and clear his mind, while fighting the flight or fight instincts that were now raging.

"Stark, stop trying to move. JARVIS, get Banner in here as well." .

"Already on it Mr. Rogers, they are both on their way."

"Let go," Tony choked out because Steve holding him down and this was making him panic. He needed room, needed air. He needed to be left alone really, to deal with this.

He'd remembered, remembered Afghanistan, some parts more vividly then others, but a lot of emotion. He was scared he'd break down and he was damn sure _no one_ was going to see that.

"Let go of me Steve." He shoved this time for emphasis, and Steve moved back a little. 

"Just try not to move. What happened? It looked like you were having a seizure." 

"I remembered something." Tony swallowed and forced back down bile at the memory.

"JARVIS, stop Banner and Pepper, I don't need medical attention. I'm fine, no injuries expect probably a bump on the head. I need coffee, get coffee." 

He was trying to sit up but Steve just forced him back down again and he was so _strong_. 

"Rogers, if you do that again I'm going to punch you."

"Mr. Banner is here, sir."

"Send him away."

"Stark," Steve started and Tony didn't really want to listen, but Steve cut him off before he could say something.

"You need to let us help you." His voice was anything commanding, and oh, how he wanted to give in. But he wouldn’t, it wasn’t him.

"No, what I _need_ is for everyone to leave." Tony snapped and finally sat up, holding out one of the repulsor beams at Steve threateningly. He was sure the way his arm wavered weakly didn’t sell it.

"Let him in JARVIS."

"I'm sorry, sir," and he heard the door click. 

Traitor. "What happened?" Bruce asked as he quickly made his way over.

"Tony was, well, I don't really know what he was doing."

"He was using his repulsor gauntlets to try his hand at flying again, when Mr. Roger's came in. He lost concentration and flew into a wall. After that Master Stark seemed to have a seizure, which he told us was him remembering something."

Banner came over and Tony raised his gauntlets again.

"I will shoot you." 

But once again his arm slipped to his side. He was tired, and sore, and he was emotionally drained. 

"You can move, that's a good sign." Bruce said and came over, a little wary."Any pain?"

"Yeah, I'm looking at it."

"Your sarcasm hasn't been effected either." He shook his head. "Can you move anything else?"

Tony shot him the finger.

"He seems to be alright. What did you remember?"

"How much I hate you."

Bruce nodded and got up. 

"I don't think saying he should go to a hospital to get checked up will do us any good, but he looks alright, if a bit shaken up." 

He looked ,back at Tony and offered a small smile. "You should lie in bed though, and rest. He should be watched , in case he has a concussion." And with that he left. 

"He's right, you should get to bed, maybe put some ice on your head and take pain killers."

"Alright mom, you can leave now." Tony slowly got to his feet, and leaned against the wall. He wouldn’t ask for help, even though his legs felt like jelly.

"Pepper is en route, Mr. Rogers, sir," JARVIS called, and Tony glared in the direction of the camera.

"I'll stay with him till she gets here."

"And what if I don't want you to?" 

Steve responded by sitting in a chair with his arms crossed, and all Tony could do was glare at him.

 

Tony ended up in his bedroom before Pepper arrived, with an ice pack and some pain killers. He had argued the whole way there, but once he was in his nice, warm bed, he felt better. That still didn’t stop him shuddering every time the memories would come back. He tried to shut them out with the memories of flying. But now that he remembered them, he couldn't make them go away.

Pepper came into the room, looking worried.

"What happened? JARVIS said you had an accident, that you remembered something." 

 

This only made him more tired. She must have read something in his expression, because she turned to Steve. 

"Thank you for staying with him, but I think it would be best if you weren't here for this."

Steve opened his mouth and then closed it. He gave Pepper a nod, looked at Tony sadly, and then left the room. Tony wished Pepper would leave with him, would so he could fall apart alone in silence. But he could tell by the look on Peppers face that she knew. Of course she knew; she seemed to know everything there was about him. She offered him a sad smile and moved to sit on the side of the bed.

“You remembered, didn’t you?” She placed a hand on his. “What did you remember about it?”

“Pepper-”

“Don’t, Tony, don’t hide from me. I already know most of what happened, but not everything. It’s okay-”

“It’s not okay!” Tony snapped and pulled his hand free. “What the hell happened? Huh? Because the first time I remember anything and it’s of some guys poking around in my chest while I was awake, and then trying to drown me!” He was yelling and angry, but he stopped when he saw Pepper cover her mouth and oh, maybe this was the part she hadn’t know.

“Tony…”

“Don’t.” 

Tony looked away. “I have a battery powered magnet in my chest magnet that’s basically keeping me alive, and no memories of how it got there. Then I get those memories and have nothing to put them to.”

“You were in Afghanistan,” Pepper whispered. “You’d gone to show off a new bomb you’d made, called The Jericho. On the way back, you’d gotten bombed, and  
kidnapped. You were there for three months. You’d built the mini arc reactor because there are pieces of shrapnel in you that could tear apart your heart if not for the magnet. You built a suite, the first Ironman suite, to get away. And you did.”

Tony rubbed his face and pulled away, but Pepper wouldn’t let him. She moved so she was next to him and ran her fingers through his hair, soothingly. 

“You are not alone Tony. You survived, you changed. You became someone because of that. You help people now, save lives. You are Iron Man. Just because you don’t remember anything, just because your head feels empty, doesn’t make you any less you. JARVIS has told me you’ve been working on another suite, and let me tell you this; no one but Tony Stark could do that.” She smiled. “Others could try and mimic it, but only you can make the real deal.”

Tony closed his eyes tightly, letting Pepper’s fingers relax him. 

“We don’t normally do this, do we?”

“No, but it’s nice. It’s nice not being shut out. We just want to help you Tony, let us. You don’t have to do this alone, you’ve never had to do any of this alone, so stop trying. Asking for help or allowing someone to help you won’t make you any less you. Stop trying to find him, because he’s here. I can see him, even if you can’t yet. You will though, but you just have to stop looking so hard.”

Tony sighed and leaned over so his face was in her hair. She smelled nice, and it was comforting. 

“So, how much did I rely on you?”

“You didn’t even know your own social security number.”

“That’s a little embarrassing.”

She chuckled and kissed his cheek.

“Now, take those pain killers and get some rest.” She smiled and grabbed them and the water. “I’ll stay here if you like, and even if you don’t, well, too bad. You may still have a concussion, from what Bruce told me.¨ 

“Those should also help you sleep.”

Tony took them and stretched, winced and just relaxed onto the bed. 

“If I kick you in my sleep, I’m not to be held reliable. Lying in bed with me may be a hazard. You have been warned.”

“Good night Tony.”

“Good night Pepper.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fourth Chapter isn't written yet, but I am working on it!


	4. Announcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just an authors note.

I lost my computer a few weeks ago, and then my mom had a heart attack, I just got my cpu back a couple of days ago, but in that time, I've lost where I was going with this, so for now I'm discontinuing, and will come back to it later, I just... really don't know where to go from here. I'm not one of those smart writers who plan out everything and then write it down, I go with the flow, and sadly, the flow was disrupted by inrl things, I need to find it again.

**Author's Note:**

> So um, this is the first chapter, updates will be irregular, and yeah... Hope you liked?


End file.
